


per angusta ad augusta

by amourstiles



Category: Archie Comics & Related Fandoms, Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: #AroAceJugheadOrBust, Aromantic Asexual Jughead Jones, Aromantic Jughead Jones, Asexual Jughead Jones, Hard of Hearing Jughead Jones, Multi, i'm not even sure if this is dark or fun anymore, jughead makes archie beg for their friendship, one sided Archie Andrews/Jughead Jones (kind of??), ronnie is a next level bitch (and jug kind of wants to be her), that is only mentioned later in the fanfic, whoops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-29 22:40:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10146209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amourstiles/pseuds/amourstiles
Summary: It starts slowly, Jughead realizes. The feeling of falling.He knows that no one will remember him for Forsythe Pendleton Jones III is nothing more than a minute, insignificant speck in the universe who never left his mark on the world.





	

**Author's Note:**

> "Per Angusta Ad Augusta" is a Latin saying that means "to high places through narrow roads" or "through trial to triumph" and I think it is perfect for who Jughead is in this fanfiction.
> 
> I am so sorry for how horrible this is, but I had creative juices and I needed to let them out so despite this being atrocious, I decided to post it. Ignore all the mistakes as there will be many (they're all mine). 
> 
> Okay, and I'm sorry for my tags being kind of all over the place. It's tagged Archie/Jughead, but it is definitely more of a Onesided Archie/Jughead, with Jughead not returning the sentiment. If anything, you can read this as queer platonic jarchie which I guess is sort of what I imagined while writing it. This is why I didn't know how to tag because technically qp is still a relationship, just not romantic or sexual so... yeah, sorry. If you came looking for romantic/sexual jarchie, you're obviously in the wrong place and I'm not sure how you would have made it past the three other glaring tags "Aromantic Jughead" "Asexual Jughead" and "Aromantic Asexual Jughead"
> 
> Also, the chapter one title, "venienti occurrite morbo" is another Latin saying which means "meet the misfortune as it comes."

It starts off slowly, Jughead realizes. The feeling of falling.

First, he's drifting away from his best friend, which isn't something Jughead never expected - people drift, it's life. But then Archie is leaving him to have sex with their music teacher and Jughead feels like his entire world is crashing down and imploding in on itself because his ex-best friend is being manipulated by someone they're supposed to look up to and there is nothing he can do about it.

And just when Jughead thinks life may have settled down, Jason Blossom's body is found by Sweetwater River with a bullet wound in his frontal lobe, and god, if that doesn't add more stress to his life, then nothing does.

When Jughead thinks about his life, about losing his best friend, an open murder investigation and the fact that the only roof he has over his head is the small, wet, rotting wood of a 13-year-old treehouse, he cannot help but feel like he has lost control of the reins of his life. Like he's falling from the sky and cannot slow down in time so he has to watch helplessly from the sidelines as his frail body smashes into the Earth, turning to dust.

He knows that no one will remember him for Forsythe Pendleton Jones III is nothing more than a minute, insignificant speck in the universe who never left his mark on the world.

Leaving no footprint behind is a writer's worst nightmare -- Jughead is no stranger to this; however, he'd much prefer to live his life on the outside, viewing in. He's always been an outsider, a bystander, too afraid to voice his opinion. When life is going in a downward spiral with no chance of correcting itself, Jughead thinks it sounds like a good deal, to remain a spectator of his own life.

"Jug? Jughead." Archie's voice pulls him out of the abyss that is his mind and Jughead simply hopes that none of his friends (yeah, they're probably at that stage now) notice how distant and spacey he's been lately. If one of them were to notice, he knows that there would be no stopping them from discovering the other secrets of his unorganized, impractical life.

"Hm?" he hums.

Veronica rolls her eyes and fails to conceal the small grin she is attempting to hide. "Is your head more interesting than our conversation, Jug? We were thinking of going to Pop's after school. Want to come? That is, unless you have another meeting with your imagination."

Jughead takes a moment to think, subconsciously making sure he is following the allotted time that is normal for one to think over a response.

The only problem with Jughead is that he isn't normal. He is a teenager who has no money, two or three sets of clothes, and currently resides in a falling apart treehouse. What little money he does have left cannot be wasted on such trivial things as fast food. And normally, if those words were to escape from Jughead's mouth, someone would think he were feeling ill, but nowadays, he doesn't have time to think about what others expect of him.

The tightness that he's been feeling in his chest for the past few months returns -- a big ball of anxiety that refuses to leave its post and suddenly, Jughead knows he can't get any answer to escape his lips. The words feel lodged in his throat, stuck so far down that no one will ever be able to hear him.

"Hey, space cadet," Veronica calls. Jughead snaps his gaze to hers, realizing that he has, in fact, gone over the allotted time that is acceptable to think about an answer.

"Sorry, I can't." And isn't that suspicious?

Archie raises a concerned eyebrow at his friend as he exchanges confused glances with Betty. They've both known Jughead for most, if not all, of their lives and that is probably the least-Jughead thing he could say -- it's too out of character which, logically, means something has to be wrong. "What do you mean? Are you busy? You never turn down Pop's."

Jughead realizes that their reactions are a complete toss-up (either they'll be understanding or angry he didn't confide in them) and he couldn't possibly gauge their responses for everything he says, so he risks it and decides to give them an inch of the truth. "We don't all have money growing on trees, Arch."

Jughead doesn't exactly regret the statement; he knows that it was probably crueler than he truly needed to be, but maybe he is still projecting his feelings about Archie ditching their road trip. "That was uncalled for," Betty says, always trying to remain peacekeeper.

When Jughead was younger -- maybe around 6 or 7 years old -- he, Archie, Betty, and Reggie (before he became a complete asshole) used to be really great friends. The four of them would usually hang out at Archie's house and occasionally they'd end up at Jughead's solely because of the delicious meals his mother would prepare. Jughead can remember that even back then, Betty was always the peacekeeper, continuously trying to settle the fights that would undoubtedly end in chaos.

Jughead sends Betty a half glare. He isn't,  _couldn't_ , be mad at her, but sometimes her incessant need for there to never be any animosity between their friends can really get on his nerves. "Betty, we aren't 7 anymore. I'm allowed to say things without everyone needing to get defensive. I can't go. Sorry," he says hurriedly and then gets up from their lunch table and starts to walk away.

Perhaps burning bridges isn't the way to go, but the thing Jughead is most afraid of, if not his father, is his friends. He is afraid that he's intruding in their small trio, afraid that by simply being there he will cause more arguing, but mostly, he's afraid that they'll find out about him and his situation and then there will be  _pity_. Lots of pity that Jughead just cannot handle. He received enough of it growing up and certainly doesn't need any now.

_________________________

What was going through Jughead's mind at the time he decided that he should go to Pop's to work on his story, he doesn't know. Clearly, he was not thinking very thoroughly, which to be fair, at the time the only thing Jughead was thinking about was how he wanted to sit somewhere where his head would not touch the roof and his senses weren't filled with the smell of rotting cedar.

He wasn't thinking about how he'd previously turned down Archie, Veronica, and Betty's offer to go to their usual hangout after school. The idea that they may have been in the diner never even occurred to Jughead, which is most definitely a sign that he hasn't been sleeping well because if there is anything Jughead excels at, it is noticing things and paying great attention to detail.

He's written another four pages to his novel when they walk through the door. Jughead's first immediate thought is  _oh shit_  and then he quickly follows his thinking by roughly shoving his rucksack further under the table. The last thing he needs is for them to discover that he carries his entire life on his back.

Archie looks towards Jughead's self-proclaimed table as if he expected Jughead to be at Pop's despite declining their invitation. Archie's intuition is right, clearly. Brown meets green and their gazes lock. Archie's stare is intense and Jughead feels trapped -- for lying to his friend and for being caught in the same place as every other day.

A swell of emotions rush towards Jughead at full-speed. Fear. Loneliness. Longing. Somehow, despite wanting to be alone, Jughead is yearning for their attention. Perhaps by sitting at the same table every day and slowly giving his friends hints about his life, he actually  _does_  want them to find out about his less than ideal housing situation. Jughead wants to deny it, but obviously, his subconscious is seeking help.

The alarm and panic that has set in does not lessen as Jughead watches the trio walk towards him. Archie slides into the booth across from him first, then Veronica, and finally, Betty with her blonde hair pulled back as always. Veronica raises an eyebrow, not at all going for the subtle approach. "So, Jughead, I thought you couldn't make it. What's with the sudden change of plans?"

He grasps for something,  _anything_ , any lie, but finds that there are none that could possibly get him out of this situation.

"I uh- I only decided to come last minute. I wasn't  _trying_  to lie to you." It's a half-truth, but that is the best Jughead can do in a moment's notice. He can't tell them that it actually was his intention to lie because if he did come with them, which is a moot point now, they'd question why he wasn't eating anything and Jughead wouldn't have an answer for them. He is Jughead Jones and Jughead Jones is notorious for stealing food and eating anything in sight.

"See, I might not have known you for as long as these two have-"  _a quick gesture towards Archie and Betty_  "-however, I am not stupid, Jug. I know you're lying. You're in the company of a Lodge and a journalist. We're bound to figure you out eventually." Veronica rests both of her hands on the table, linking her fingers together. Her fingernails are freshly painted with a bold red and her posture is that of a high-class countess.

Archie's eyes move away from Jughead's, which gives the raven-haired boy a second of relief, to instead become pinned to Veronica. "What does that make me?"

Veronica rolls her eyes. "A member of the male species. You're all dense. I'd say that Jughead is the exception to that, but clearly, if he thinks he can get away with lying to his friends, he is just as dense as the rest of you." Jughead thinks that if he were feeling up to it, he'd make Veronica his new best friend because she clearly has a sharp tongue.

Archie pulls a face of  _something_  and Jughead isn't sure what emotion his friend is trying to reiterate. Perhaps outrage? "I resent that. Seriously, though, Jug. We just want to help you and if there is something going on with you, you should tell us. We can help you."  _No, you can't_ , is what he wants to say, but instead, something else bubbles to the surface of his satirical mind before he has the chance to stop it.

"As much as I'd love for the three of you to pry into my life, I doubt you could help." It's probably the world using him as the centre of all its jokes, Jughead decides. When he was growing up, he never thought for even a second that his life could ever get so low, but apparently, he was naïve as a child because now his own mouth is going to drive away the only friends he's ever had.

Betty shakes her head at Jughead. "What is with you lately? I always knew that you had acerbic opinions, but you're just being mean now."

And while sometimes he may prefer to be alone, pushing his friends away is not Jughead's intention. Not that he'd admit it, at least not willingly, he does need them sometimes. "Yeah -- I know. It's just... right now I'm not in the best place and it's something I need to deal with alone."

Archie nods. "Okay,  _but_  if you find that you do need someone to talk to, you have to promise me that you'll come to us. I know you think that you have to be some mysterious, independent person to keep up  _pretences_  or something, but you don't need to be alone, Jug."

Jughead cocks an eyebrow. "When did you get so sappy?"

Archie glares at his friend with a sort of playfulness mixed with a seriousness that showed he was not joking in the slightest. " _Jug_ ," Archie demands. "Promise me."

" _Yes_ , Archibald. I promise, but I'm not going to run to you and spill all of my secrets at the first sign of difficulty. You grew up with me so you should know better than anyone that my life hasn't been the most conventional." Jughead has never been good at feelings and emotions; they're messy and in all honesty, he doesn't understand the need for them.

Jughead has watched all of his friends become obsessed with their feelings and affection for others -- he's watched his friends fall apart in front of him, lose all sense of their true selves all because of some sentiment they have for another person.

Jughead isn't heartless; he is not some recluse who hides away from all of society and doesn't have the capacity to love anyone. In fact, he loves many people -- his mother, Jellybean, Archie, Betty, and maybe even Veronica. Sure, he doesn't love them with the burning passion his friends have for some people, but Jughead has emotions. The only difference between himself and his friends is that he could care less about _lust and desire_.

Archie knew, from years of being Jughead's best friend, that Jughead's response was probably the closest he'd get the raven-haired male to seriously affirm that he'd go to Archie for help. With a small nod, Archie decided that changing the subject was probably his best bet in getting Jughead to talk to their group.

"What are you working on?"

Jughead spared a quick glance down at the glowing screen on his laptop. "Same thing as always," he muttered.

"Your novel? How is it coming along?"

Jughead wanted to cringe at the awkwardness of the conversation and with a quick look at Betty and Veronica, he could tell the were just as uncomfortable as him. He slowly shut the lid of his laptop and turned to level his gaze with the red-head. "Okay, Archie -- I'm your friend so I am going to say this. I know you're not really that interested in what I'm writing, so let's cut to the chase, yeah?"

"I'm just trying to find common ground, Jug. You've been distant and honestly, I'm not all that sure about what you like to do these days. I still feel really bad about ditching our plans and then you lost your job when the Twilight Drive-In was shut down, so I'm trying to make up for all of it."

Jughead sighs. "It wasn't your fault that the Drive-In shut down and I lost my job."

Archie pinches his eyebrow's together and the small scar that sits between his eyes is scrunched up. "Yeah, but it was my dad's fault and so I'm feeling second-hand responsibility. Just tell me how I can fix us. I want to go back to what it used to be like."

"It's not that easy, Arch. I'm probably the first to admit that I'd do anything to return to our childhood when the only problem we had was running out of chocolate milk, but it's not like that anymore. We're still friends and I'm pretty sure there was never a time when that wasn't true. Sure, I was mad at you a month ago, but it wasn't like I was going through our old pictures and cutting them up or burning them. We hit a rough patch and yeah, maybe we'll never be as close as we once were, but the only thing we can do is try. And Betty, you need to help me out here because I'm scaring myself. I don't think I've ever been this sentimental."

Jughead likes to think of relationships like an elastic band; to make an elastic band wider, you stretch it and both sides need to be evenly stretched otherwise you face disaster. With Archie, the only way the trust between them can grow is if they're both giving and taking with equal intention, two people pulling on opposite ends of an elastic band with the glaring potential of one side being pulled with too much force and then --  _snap_.

In the months leading up to the July 4th weekend, his and Archie's friendship was already strained, as if the elastic band that held them together was thinning and on the verge of snapping. They both acknowledged it; it's the reason Archie decided to ditch their road trip. Jughead was pulling on his side of the elastic band with too much force, holding onto a relationship that appeared to be destined to break.

"I get it, Jug. You're not ready for th-" Archie starts.

Jughead holds a hand up, full well prepared to interrupt his ginger-headed friend. "No, you don't  _get it,_  Archie. That's the problem here. How can you not see that?"

Archie looks as scared as a deer caught in blinding headlights. He opens his mouth to deny what he's being told, but Archie realizes in the moment that he has no idea what is happening. The only thing he notices is how close he is to losing his best friend a second time and he'll be damned if that happens again. "The problem, Jughead, is that I don't know what you're asking me to say to you. I've told you I'll be there for you if you need to talk and I've tried to mend our friendship even though I know that is probably the last thing you want. If there is something I'm missing then you need to tell me."

Jughead eyes his bag (the very same bag that carries his entire life) under the table, chancing what would happen if he pulled it out. Would they notice that it's too large to simply be the bag that carries a student's schoolwork? Would they notice that it's worn down and looks to be older than Jughead himself? Carefully, Jughead slips his laptop into the bag, cautious of the eyes he knows are tracking his every movement. When his prized possession is safely within the confines of his rucksack, Jughead turns his eyes to the Three Musketeers of Riverdale.

"I just need you to give me some space and realize that we'll never be the same as before, no matter how hard we try." With those parting words, Jughead grips his bag and walks to the exit of Pop's Chock'lit Shoppe, shooting Pop Tate one fleeting smile before letting the door smash closed behind him.

Jughead feels like a mouse that is running through an endless cornfield with no way out of the maize stalks that block his path. Archie takes the role of the fox, who will stop at nothing to track down the mouse before it has a chance to escape. All of Jughead's life has been him chasing after Archie and Betty, and now, for once, he's tired. He is tired of always being the third wheel and being left in the dust of the power duo; Betty, girl-next-door and Archie, popular football god. How can he possibly compete with that dynamic?

Jughead has wasted too much breath on caring about what happens to his friends and not receiving the same respect. Archie all but forgot about him and now he wants Jughead to seriously consider forgetting all of that to go back to being  _best buds_. Jughead may be lonely, but he isn't desperate. If Archie is serious about wanting to be something even closely related to friends, Jughead is going to make him earn it.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this was somewhat enjoyable. There will be more chapters as I am currently writing chapter two. Usually, I wait until I've written the whole story before posting because I have a pretty bad track record, but I doubt this is going to be very long so I decided to trust myself this time.
> 
> Also, I am aro/ace, so I might be using some of my experiences; however, you should all know that being aro/ace is a spectrum, so what Jughead feels in this fanfic may be different from what others experience.
> 
> If you have any questions about anything (the story, me, etc..) feel free to drop me a comment. Thank you!
> 
> P.S., if you're willing to help support the aro/ace community, perhaps you could check out the twitter tags #aroacejugheadorbust and #acearojugheadorbust which are just two platforms many of us have been using to try and advocate for the one character we have in mainstream media that's been taken away from us. We're aware that anything happening with it is unlikely, but if you could help us get the message across that having Betty/Jughead together is erasure and is harmful to the aro/ace community, that would be great. Thanks :)


End file.
